With Valentine’s Day fast approaching love is in the air for many.
However, for those struggling with debt the most romantic day of the year can be anything but as the pressure of financial worry puts strain on a relationship.
According to the Debt Impact Report 2020/21 by Citizens Advice, debt is more likely than any other issue to have negative consequences on other parts of life – including mental health, relationships and having less money to spend.
When it comes to couples with debt, money alone is not the root cause of relationship problems. It’s the pressure and conflict that often arises from dealing with that debt that can bring to light other issues in the relationship.
Money can also act as an emotional currency in a relationship acting as a vehicle for communication in some instances and in other more sinister moments, misused in a bid for control and power. Spending can also be used as a stand-in for other unmet needs.
That’s why it’s important for both couples and individuals to take control of their finances if they’re worried about debt for the sake of their own mental health and their relationships.
Here we offer our top five tips if you’re struggling with debt to help you fall in love with your finances again ahead of February 14.
1. Be open with your partner
Surprises are part of the fun of Valentine’s Day but not when it comes to finances. However, that’s the reality for thousands of couples as one partner struggles with secret debt.
Financial infidelity is more common than you think, with figures from Compare the Market highlighting that money is one of the top causes of arguments in relationships along with sex, housework and children.
It’s also one of the most common reasons for divorce, along with adultery and drifting apart.
More than a quarter of UK adults have been with a partner who they later found out was in serious debt, accordion to the Money Advice Service, while almost a third of Brits have admitted to keeping their debt a secret with the average debt being hidden exceeding £4,100.
Credit cards, overdrafts and loans are the most common types of debt that are kept a secret.
Money talk may be the final taboo but if you’re worried about any kind of debt or are concerned about your finances generally, it’s important to speak with your partner about it.
This can not only help take the weight of the secret off your shoulders but another person may have advice or perspective they can share. It can also help relieve some of the strain you both may be feeling if you’re both on the same page about your finances.
2. Set a budget
Setting a budget may seem like an obvious tip but it’s often the one may people struggle to get on top of.
Some people think of a budget as a way of restricting their lifestyle but the reality is it does the complete opposite – it helps provide financial freedom.
Budgeting is one of the easiest ways to stay in control of your finances and can provide a clear picture of where your money goes each month.
It’s also a good way to plan for your future and achieve the financial goals you’re working towards. Planning a to pop the question? Got a wedding on the horizon? Or are you just keen to make your money last a little longer after payday? A budget can help and reduce the stress of feeling like you’re about to run out of cash.
Planning a budget is easier than you think too. Our sister company Creditfix has a free Budget Calculator and offers a simple way to create a considered budget to stick to each month.
3. Ditch costly dates
They say you can’t put a price on love but no matter whether you’re on the search for your perfect partner or are in a committed relationship one thing is for sure, dating is expensive. And it’s not just confined to Valentine’s Day either – although that’s a biggie.
Last year London was unsurprisingly voted as the most expensive place to date. Research by Cosmetify showed the cost of a date in the capital was £100 while Reading was the UK’s cheapest city for dating at £72.34. Edinburgh came up as the third most expensive city for couples, followed by Cambridge, Brighton and Nottingham.
As the cost of living soars to record levels and the recent energy price hike it’s easy to see why date night could quickly fall to the bottom of the priority list if you’re worried about finances.
But in the words of JLo, Love Don’t Cost a Thing – at least not all the time.
Just because you’re worried about your finances it doesn’t mean you should let love fall by the wayside.
From winter walks with your love to exploring local museums or even just having a slap-up meal at home, there doesn’t always need to be a price tag attached to love and affection.
4. Ask for help
This is the most important tip of all.
Sometimes when you’re living with debt it can seem like you’re the only person in the world struggling. You’re not. There are thousands of people, just like you, struggling with their finances.
Debt can have a serious impact on your mental health, wellbeing and your relationships if you bury your head in the sand and don’t tackle it head-on but it isn’t something you need to battle alone.
If you’re worried about debt you should seek professional help to find a debt solution suited to your situation.
At Carrington Dean, our expert team are on hand to offer support to people of all walks of life and help them regain control of their finances with confidential advice.
Talking about debt isn’t easy but one conversation can change everything – not just for you but for your loved ones too.
